(Ecclesiastes 2:9-11, 21st Century Version)
_____________________________________________________Okay, I gave it my best shot. I am really trying to find a way to make this life meaningful.
I hired all the best comedians, They were stupid. Nothing is funny anymore. A man can walk into a bar only so many times. Good humor is based in reality, and reality is hebel. (Have I said that already?)
Did I mention I drank a lot, and it wasn’t the cheap stuff. I didn’t just do it to get drunk; I did it purposefully, as an experiment to see if happiness could be found at the bottom of a bottle. I found nothing other than the occasional worm.
I built a ton of stuff. I had over 100,000 people working on just the temple and my palace. I built vineyards and gardens and blah blah blah. One day they will all crumble, thanks to that sun and rain I mentioned last time.
So I went shopping, and let me tell you, I have wives who can teach me how to shop like you would not believe. I bought everything I wanted. Now, even the singing fish on my wall is getting old.
So…I got some more wives. If they looked good at all, I brought ‘em home. I probably should not have done this when I was experimenting with the wine. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but they bored me too. (I recently re-read that Song about love I wrote when I was a LOT younger, and I think I may have overstated my case).
Bottom line? I became great and increased more than all who preceded me in Jerusalem. My wisdom was well known. All that my eyes desired I indulged in. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure... I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted, and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and there was no profit under the sun.
I have a new bumper sticker idea; “He who dies with the least hebel wins.” I hope people don’t mess with this one like they did with “Hebel happens.”
(Up Next: "I'm With Hebel")