Hello, Grief, My Old Friend

While driving to Ohio this past weekend, I missed my dad.

It’s not that I don’t think about him a lot. It's just that life fills up so quickly that I can put the hollow part of my heart on a shelf and go about my day.  It waits for me (that hollow spot), knowing I will inevitably reach up, dust it off, and carry it around with me when the time is right.

The time was right as I was driving to Ohio this past weekend, and I missed my dad. I was tired; Skillet seemed like a good idea. When you’re sleepy, “Waking Up, Waking Up!” is a great stadium chant to sing in a car.  But metal mayhem gave way to a song I had not heard and did not expect:

“I went to bed - I was thinking about you

I wanna talk and laugh like we used to.

When I see you in my dreams at night

It's so real but it's in my mind,

And now I guess this is as good as it gets

Don't wake me, 'cause I don't wanna leave this dream

Don't wake me, 'cause I never seem to stay asleep enough

When it's you I'm dreaming of, I don't wanna wake up

These dreams of you keep on growing stronger

It ain't a lot but it's all I have.

Nothing to do but keep sleeping longer

Don't wanna stop 'cause I want You back."

"'Cause I want you back." I had dreams of my father for months after he died. I wish so desperately I could have them again (and yet I don’t – it’s exhausting to wake up sobbing). Grief is such a confusing mix of “I hate this” and “Please don't let me forget.”

Comfort One Another

“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore comfort one another with these words."                                        1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

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     There are three main observations in this section of Scripture:

• Death brings grief.
• Because Christ rose, Death does not have the final word. 
• Comfort one another with the hope of the final Resurrection.

    The fact that death brings grief is really not earth-shattering. People have always grieved death. But I appreciate how the Bible does not look away from real life. There is no avoidance here. Life is sometimes very hard, and it does us no good to look away. There is something about entering into even the most painful emotions and events that is important in a road to recovery.

Ecclesiastes: The Last Word

“And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul” (Dueteronomy 10:12)

“Dear friends, let's cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit by becoming mature in our holy fear of God.” (2 Corinthians 7:1)

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Ecclesiastes is a sobering book, but I think it's an important one as we try to navigate our way through life.

We have the opportunities to pursue the same hollow gods Solomon followed for a time.  Money, sex, power, fame - we can try them all if we want to.

There are plenty of pessimistic world views we can embrace during the times we feel that "all is vanity."  I've been there. I know what it's like to struggle to see meaning and purpose in them midst of pain and disillusionment.

"Fear and reverence God," said Solomon. "Let God’s commandments guide you through life. That’s the secret to life."

Ecclesiastes: "The Secret To Life"

 (Ecclesiastes 1: "What is the Good Life?")

(Ecclesiastes 2: "Hebel Happens")

(Ecclesiastes 3: "He Who Dies with the Most Hebel Wins")

(Ecclesiastes 4: "Fatalism, Flux, and Figs")

(Ecclesiastes 4 and 5: "If it makes you happy, why are you so sad?")

(Ecclesiastes 5 and 6: "Shadows that Cover the Land")
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  ECCLESIASTES 11

      Sorry I haven’t written in a while.  I tend not to write when life is good.  After I “gave up” last time, something settled inside me.  I recently realized there have been a couple cool changes in me.

    I don’t live in fear. I don’t understand the wind, but I still sail and do business on the seas.  I  prepare for the unexpected  - I send boats out 8 different directions so if storms sink one, the other still go on.

     I don’t know when it will rain, but I don’t stop planting.  I just plant at different times.    

     I don’t understand how babies are formed in the womb, but I still father children.

     I don’t understand how you work any better now than I did then, but that’s okay.  Wind, rain, and life are better in your hands than mine.

Ecclesiastes: "Shadows That Cover The Land"

(Ecclesiastes 1: "What is the Good Life?")

(Ecclesiastes 2: "Hebel Happens")

(Ecclesiastes 3: "He Who Dies with the Most Hebel Wins")

(Ecclesiastes 4: "Fatalism, Flux, and Figs")

(Ecclesiastes 4 and 5: "If it makes you happy, why are you so sad?")

 Ecclesiastes 5

     Wow. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by what I see and hear as king.  Clearly I was right: we are the problem.  It weighs on me, but it also gives me perspective. 

     I’ve seen evil people get away with a hundred atrocities and still live a long life.  That used to make me question your justice, but over time I have seen that the truly good life is reserved for those who fear you, and who aren’t ashamed to let people know. Evil people might live long, but that’s not the same as living well.  They fear things to – just not you – but that doesn’t make them better people at all.  Those who fear you build towering lives that cast a long shadow: people find shade and rest close to them.